(sneak preview of my new logo, in the process of redesigning this site)
We are constantly changing, evolving, moving. Everyday we grow and learn. Our hair grows, our nails grow, we know more.
Since January 1st 2012 I have been mostly Offline. Something happened where I instantly (well not quite instantly) changed from being pregnant to being a mom. It happened during 35 hours where time stopped. Time did not stop obviously. It was a perception of time a person using a hallucinogenic substance and leaving its ego behind could understand.
7 months ago I entered a complete unknown zone. A zone of uncertainty, of constant discovery; a birth. Not my own but my daughter’s. She came to Earth. Everything changed. In the beginning the change was so obvious and uncomfortable that the brain sends some serotonin out so that, not only are you happy even if you barely sleep, but you also see the world differently. Change is everywhere. I am redesigning my life. Chaos and discomfort are in the middle of it, but with a rare skill of adaptation and balance I am doing pretty alright, thank you very much.
Nothing is the same. Memory loss is a blessing sometimes, it keeps your eyes fresh, present. I have my blog and a set of journals archiving what was previously written, drawn or organized in order for me to consult the past. The Present however is precious. We barely notice it. Living with a small child emphasizes the Present. The Present becomes full.
In the past months I have been contemplating my life as a self-made designer and have been imagining the near future. What if this, what if that… Many possibilities. I have also started a side project that I CANNOT wait to talk about! (SOON)
I have made a promise to myself: If you are not happy, change it. No status quo is going to numb me into a passive state of discomfort. I would rather be in an active state of discomfort as life is suffering anyways, might as well do something. I will not work on meaningless projects. I will find a way to make money doing something that has a meaning. Patience is a new quality I am working hard to master and still have a long way to go, but I have made huge progress! I am very impatient, but with more patience. And with patience I am accepting time. Taking time to take time.